September 25, 2009

Goodbye, Mom

I lost my Mom last week, after a short sharp decline and many awful nights in the emergency room.  I had cared for her for the past several years, and I was able to be with her right up to the end; she died in my arms. She was 82, and it wasn't really unexpected, given her other health problems, but it is terribly sad and now I am truly without family.  But I have great friends here, and they are helping me mourn her.
She taught me as a little girl that the Chickadees were my birds, calling me, "Hi Judy!" and my first word was flower, from following her about in the garden.
We baked together, gardened together, read and discussed and laughed and cried together...and somehow I can't believe she will ever really be gone from me.

September 1, 2009

Dry Spell

When your heart's occupied with disaster, it is hard to think creatively, or even feel like speaking, let alone writing.  Summer became a cascade of bad things for my Mom, with several visits to the emergency room and now she's in a nursing facility. 
This year's theme seems to be Renunciation: not only did I have to let the gardens go this summer, I've let this writing go, and I wish I had captured some of the nicer days here.  Maybe there will be some easier days this fall, when I can tend to the gardens, to this site, and to myself.